It’s okay to be imperfect — preventing suicide - Berthoud Weekly SurveyorBerthoud Weekly Surveyor

It’s okay to be imperfect — preventing suicide

September 28, 2023 | Community News

By Robin Ferruggia
The Surveyor

The good news is that Colorado’s suicide fatality rate did not increase in 2022 and was slightly lower than in previous years for all age groups, including youth ages ten to 18.
“This demonstrates that statewide and local community-based suicide prevention efforts are helping reduce the impact of suicide in our state,” said Lena Heilmann, Ph.D., director of the Office of Suicide Prevention at Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment’s Office of Suicide Prevention.

Statewide and local programs have focused on increasing supportive connections for groups and individuals, addressing financial stresses and the need for economic stability, increasing educational opportunities for anyone to increase their knowledge and skills about suicide and how to help prevent suicide attempts and deaths, implementing best practices for safer patient care in a variety of settings, reinforcing safe storage practices for firearms, lethal medications and poisons and responding to and caring for individuals and communities affected by the aftermath of a suicide attempt, crisis or death.

“Suicide is always complex,” said Heilmann. “There is never one reason.”

It’s not uncommon for people to have suicidal thoughts or feelings, and it’s okay to ask someone if they are. This will not make them more likely to attempt suicide, she said. It will likely help the person feel safer coming to you to talk about it if they do feel suicidal or if they do in the future.

People who are suicidal are not necessarily suffering from a mental illness. Only about half of those who feel suicidal also have a mental illness.
The CDC (Center for Disease Control) estimates that for every death by suicide, there are about 30 non-fatal suicide attempts and about 280 individuals who experience suicidal thoughts.

The majority of people who feel suicidal do not attempt or die by suicide.

Protective factors play a big role in helping prevent suicide. People who have supportive relationships, for example, are more likely to have feelings of hope and resilience, whereas people who are isolated are at higher risk.

Isolation can increase the risk someone will attempt or die by suicide. Isolation can be geographic, a sense of loneliness or a result of discrimination as in situations of racism or homophobia. When one’s immediate community fails to provide support, she suggested seeking out online communities and circles of friends who are encouraging and affirming. Helplines are also available 24/7 whether someone is in crisis or just needs someone to talk to. Those who know someone who is thinking about suicide and are concerned can also ask for help and local organizations like the Alliance for Suicide Prevention and the Mental Health First Aid program provide classes on how to help someone having a mental health crisis or suicidal thoughts.

Kim Moeller, executive director of the Alliance for Suicide Prevention for Larimer County, a licensed mental health counselor, understands what it’s like to feel suicidal and unheard.
She attempted suicide twice, once at the age of 11 and again at 26.

“As a kid, I never felt myself. I never felt I could ask for what I needed. I would be ‘kicked out of the tribe’ if I did,” she said.

“My family was loving and did the best they could. I felt ‘other than.’ I was afraid to be my authentic self. There was so much outside pressure to be a good kid from society, to be a certain way, to look a certain way, to have certain things I didn’t have that the other kids did. I tried to be who they wanted me to be so they would love me.”

In her twenties, she turned to alcohol for help coping.

“I didn’t know who I was, I didn’t feel like I could say it. I was too scared to stand in my spot,” she said. “My behavior told others what to expect from me. If they don’t know who I am they will behave in ways not in alignment with me. Living that way was so exhausting that I wanted to die.”

One day when she woke up something inside of her told her that she needed help, and she felt that “something out there breathes love and strength into me.”
Her belief in a higher power and therapy, helped her become her authentic self, find spaces where she felt accepted and build supportive connections with her husband, family and co-workers.
“I surround myself with people who remind me of the tools I have to help me on days when I’m not doing my best, and of my intrinsic value,” she said. “It’s okay to be imperfect.”

Her advice to others who are struggling is to be kind and gentle with yourself, give the same care and compassion to your body as you would when you have a broken bone and reach out for help.

Help is also available for children and teens from the Thompson School District’s School Health Professionals Team.

Small group intervention and one-on-one counseling geared towards increasing supportive connections and resiliency skills are available. Self-awareness, relationship building, responsible decision-making, self-management and social awareness skills are helpful for all students, especially those at risk. Kids who develop these skills also respond better to mental health treatment, said Jennifer Guthals, Ed.D., Director of Student Success.

“Middle school is a challenging and exciting time,” she said. “Kids are trying to find how they fit in the world from their peers but are doing that in the isolation of social media. In order to have friends they may have to go onto TikTok, where they may be treated abusively, put down and rejected. They need to know what’s right, what’s okay and be able to stand up for that.”
Mental health support is limited, however, due to a lack of enough staff, rural residents needing to travel further to access services and limited insurance that are barriers to treatment, she said.

Government funding, grants and private contributions help.

The Alliance for Suicide Prevention held its annual Lifesavers Gala at TPC Colorado in Berthoud last week to raise funds. Their goal was to support suicide loss survivors, who often face “unbearable and unexpected costs that come with the loss of someone to suicide,” said Moeller.

About 200 people attended, and they raised approximately $30,000.

“There were tears, hugs and love,” she said. “It was a night of healing and opportunity. It was a beautiful event.”

Resources
Suicide and Crisis Line
Call 988, available 24/7
Colorado Crisis Services
1-844-493-8255
Text “TALK” to 38255