Fruitcake is one of the most debated things about the holidays. There are two camps: those that love it and have fond memories of their grandmother’s working many hours and letting it ripen for weeks before spreading the infestation to their loved ones, and those with a better sense that see the world as a beautiful, lovely place. 

The history of fruitcakes goes back to Roman times. A cake made from mashed barley and honey, filled with dried fruits, nuts, and often pomegranate seeds, was soaked in wine to make a dense cake. The cakes served as an energy bar for the soldiers. The bar could last for weeks, making it ideal for transport. The plague we would recognize as modern-day fruitcake started in Medieval times, when precious spices, fruits, and nuts were baked together and soaked in strong alcohol to show off wealth and prosperity. By the time the Americas were discovered, and cheaper sugar became available to more of the population, the idea of candying fruit to make it last longer and adding it to the cake became what we know as fruitcake today.

The US post office can also be blamed for its part in the contamination. Bricks of alcohol-soaked abominations could be delivered to rural areas for free or very cheaply to many parts of America and England. With the legendary long shelf life, fruitcake was perfect to spread to loved ones. Two friends have sent the same fruitcake back and forth since the 1950s. Apparently, a fruit cake discovered abandoned in the 1800s in Antarctica is still viable.

The jokes about fruitcakes are numerous. Like there is only one fruitcake in the world, it is passed from house to house. Other ideas about fruitcake are that its only good use is as a doorstop. Or the world is like a fruit cake, it wouldn’t be complete without a few nuts in it. However, it is still beloved by many, as more than 2 million fruitcakes are made each year, so someone out there still is convinced of its good qualities.

Some of you may like the dense brick of moist cakelike substance filled with cherries in colors nature never intended. Or that these cakes are mixed with other unidentified pieces of something resembling disemboweled gummy bears and chunks of crunchy bits that may or may not resemble the bones of lost children. Come to think of it, if they put gummy bears in a fruitcake, it might improve it! The bricks are then usually soaked in alcohol to attempt to disguise what is actually in them. Alcohol may be a way to persuade some of us to think that fruitcake is ok. And I don’t blame you for your opinion. We all have our own beliefs and convictions. Spreading the love and joy of the holidays can be a rewarding experience, and fruitcakes can be a long-lasting memory of those occasions, as it is holding open your door or a great decorative paperweight